THE Decision...

So, I hope to try to explain the journey God carried me on to finally arrive at the place that has me homeschooling my 2 children. I in no way think that I have all the answers. I know that I don't even have the right answer in that I no longer believe there is one right answer for everyone. Yet, through prayer, Godly counsel, and circumstances I believe I have made the right decision for my family.

To truly begin you need to understand that I am a public school teacher, and typically we public school teachers are not in favor of homeschooling. It could be that we see it as a knock against what we do, but for me it was that when I received a student who had previously been home schooled they were horribly behind the other kids academically. Of course, now I am much wiser and realize that that is certainly not the case for the incredible majority of homeschoolers. In fact, I believe it to be the opposite.

I was also caught up on the major reason most people list for objecting. That's right the 'S' word most homeschoolers are sick of hearing: socialization. I worried how my kids could be properly socialized being at home. After much reading and pondering I came to understand that sitting in a room with 20 other kids your age isn't exactly real-life socialization. Plus, I loved the point many people made about the fact that homeschooled children are able to socialize with people of all ages which is what I want for my children. Not to mention the obvious church friends, baseball teammates, ballet friends and hopefully fellow homechoolers we will meet.

There you have the reasons I was opposed to homeschooling in a former life (actually about up until about a year ago). I started thinking about homeschooling last spring when I started thinking about my sweet baby girl starting kindergarten in the fall. It just didn't seem right that my barely 5 year old would be away from me more than with me.

Still, I sent them this fall. I was very happy with the teachers they were given and their school. My decision is not a reaction to a negative situation in any way. They love their school. Yet, after being at school all day then coming home to homework, dinner, baths and bedtime we were all exhausted and not able to fit in having fun together. Most of all, I felt like I had no time to impart my faith to them. We said our nightly prayers, talked about moral decisions when they came up and attended church on Sunday mornings and nights. Yet, considering the world they will be living in when they grow up those things just didn't seem like enough. I felt like I needed to do a much better job equipping them for God's purposes. In fact, I came to realize that that is really my only job as a parent. We get so caught up in giving them the opportunities to become a baseball player, ballerina or doctor when we really need to give them the tools they need to be effectively used for God's kingdom.

Happy or not, I still was haunted by a belief that God was calling me to homeschool. In constantly thinking on it, He allowed me to have a few "light bulb" moments:

1. I don't have to answer the huge debate: which is better public school or homeschool. I just have to decide which would be better for my 2 (eventually 4) kids. Last January I took an amazing Bible study by Priscilla Shirer, Discerning the Voice of God. I learned about how the Holy Spirit convicts different people of different things. Therefore, He could be calling me to homeschool and my friends to send theirs to public school.

2. Homeschooling would allow me to spend time with my kids doing things we're never able to do. The most important one that excited me when this light bulb went off was to spend more time with family. We are blessed to have all of our family living within miles of us yet we never seem to have time to visit with them, especially my 2 grandmothers. It struck me how much our family alone could teach them about the important things of life and faith if given the chance.

3. In a public school my kids are getting part of the things they need to learn then in Sunday School they get the other part. Our prayer is that they put the two together in order to see how the goodness of God carries over to all aspects of life. I was perusing a homeschool curriculum book and was brought to tears seeing Bible verses interspersed with facts about science. How amazing is that?!!! I love one curriculum's motto "Teach them the way you wished you'd been taught." I would love to have known God's thoughts on science and learn history from a Biblical perspective to see how God has moved in all times.

4. I took a temporary position teaching at my kids' school. Being back into teaching after staying home for 6 years was amazing and exhausting. Again, I saw great things in the school, but it made me realize I could do a great job at home as well. With every challenge I was faced with as a teacher like not enough time to delve into subjects or trying to help students individually while there are 20 others needing you, I was further convicted that homeschooling was the right choice.

So, here I am at "Homeschool or Bust". I honestly just thought that was a funny title. Despite my confidence that this is God's will for us right now, I still have lots of fears and trepidations that I could bust! I worry that I'll try to do too much, that I won't be organized enough, that I won't have time for housework, that I'll neglect my 1 year old twins, that the kids will become bored or lazy, that they'll get sick of one another or me, that I'll never have any time for myself, that I'll be up all night planning for the next day, that I'll be too controlling, that they'll fall into watching too much TV, that we'll become hermits, that they'll miss out on fun school experiences, that it will become a financial burden...

I could go on and on, but here is my decision. We are going to face this as a season of life. God wants us to homeschool right now. I don't know where we'll be in 6 months let alone 6 years, but God does. I will rest in that, sit back and enjoy the ride- homeschool or bust!!!